gathered

Two and a half years ago, I convinced myself I didn't need relationships. I was in my first year of school, and either because I was too busy or because I was too afraid to make friends--or some combination of both--I had isolated myself. To some degree, isolation worked for me. I was good at being alone, so it didn't bother me that I had no friends at school. I could spend entire weekends without interacting with anyone, and it didn't seem to make a difference.

But slowly, two things began to happen. The relationships I did have back home became harder. When I went home for breaks, I didn't know how to be with my friends, and I would avoid spending time with them because I no longer felt comfortable not being alone. And second, my relationship with Jesus became nonexistent. Still, I convinced myself this was okay. I thrived by myself. I didn't need any of those relationships.

Except I wasn't really thriving at all. I was miserable at school, I was nearly as miserable at home, and spending time with people caused me a lot of anxiety. In Blue Like Jazz, Donald Miller describes a similar feeling:

"I know about that feeling, that feeling of walking out into the darkness. When I lived alone it was very hard for me to be around people. I would leave parties early. I would leave church before worship was over so I didn't have to stand around and talk. The presence of people would agitate me. I was so used to being able to daydream and keep myself company that other people were an intrusion. It was terribly unhealthy."

I think when Don Miller says "unhealthy," he's talking about several different things: mental health, emotional health, and especially spiritual health. This past year, I started living in a house with ten other girls who love Jesus and want to love like he did. They've shown me love over and over and over again, and because of that, spiritually, I am much healthier. No amount of praying or Bible-reading in solitude could have done that for me.

It comes down to this. In Matthew 18:20, Jesus says, "Where two or three have gathered together in my name, I am there in their midst." We can't have Jesus in our lives without others who live like Jesus in our lives.

gathered is about community. Why we need it. How we find it. What to do when we have it. gathered is also about spiritual health, mental health, and earth health because I think those are all things that can come from living in community. Let's celebrate community together.