Alone with Others

This blog post is dedicated to Emily Dickinson, may she rest in peace.

I used to get so excited about living alone. I looked forward to the day when I could pack up everything and move to a secluded, rural area of Colorado or Montana, where no one could ever find me. That way, I could have all the introvert time I needed, and I would never have to feel drained or burned out from interacting with people. I imagined myself as a modern-day Emily Dickinson, who spent her adult life as a recluse--only I wouldn't write weird poems about snakes and death (except maybe I would because maybe that's what being a recluse does to you). 

Anyway, for the longest time, I was scared I would graduate from school and would have to share my life with other people. And then, as graduation approached, my attitude complete reversed: I started getting scared that I would graduate from school and wouldn't have anyone to share my life with. This didn't really make sense to me, though. I'm an introvert. I love being alone. 

So here's what I realized: there are two kinds of introverts. There are the introverts that actually like seclusion (i.e. Emily Dickinson), and there are the introverts that like to have their alone time with other people (i.e. yours truly). Really, this is all besides the point because I think community is for everyone and can work for everyone--probably even Emily Dickinson if she were still with us. 

I have no idea if Jesus was an introvert or not, but we do know that he was around people all the time. Seriously, the guy was in high demand (for obvious reasons). Luke 4:31-44 tells of Jesus going from place to place, healing people as he went and getting zero downtime. People are asking him to heal their sisters and mother-in-laws and nephews and pet rabbits, and when they're not, he's got twelve grown men following him around and nagging him to play hide-and-seek. Jesus was constantly experiencing the good and bad of community. 

But Luke 5:16 says, "Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed." He still had those moments of introversion. This aloneness was, after all, an opportunity for prayer and community with God. This is also what the Lenten season is about--modeling our lives after Jesus, who spent forty days in the desert fasting before he even began doing all the things Luke 4 and 5 talks about. Yes, he lived in community with his disciples and those he fellowshipped with, but he remembered to be intentional about solitude--probably because he knew how important and healthy it was for him to be alone in God's presence. The same is true for anyone living in community. It's important to experience relationships with those we live or surround ourselves with, but it's okay--and entirely encouraged--to retreat. 

We should remember, though, that after Jesus retreats, he returns to his community. We (even introverts) should do the same because, as I've said, our relationships with those who live like Jesus are so so so important for our spiritual, mental, and emotional health. And that's why Emily Dickinson's poetry is the way it is.